If your child is struggling with an eating disorder, you may feel overwhelmed, scared, or even uncertain about how to help. But what if you also struggle with your own relationship with food and body image?
Many parents carry their own histories of dieting, body dissatisfaction, or disordered eating, often shaped by a culture that equates thinness with health and worth. If this resonates with you, know this: you are not alone, and your healing matters too.
By working on your own relationship with food and your body, you can create a home environment that supports both your child’s recovery and your own well-being. Here’s how to navigate this journey with compassion, self-awareness, and an intuitive eating approach.
1. Acknowledge Your Own Relationship with Food and Body
Many of us were raised in diet culture, absorbing messages that certain bodies are more valuable, that food must be earned, or that hunger is something to control. It’s okay if these beliefs still influence you—but now is an opportunity to challenge them.
Ask yourself:
- What messages about food and weight did I grow up with?
- Do I feel guilt or shame around eating?
- How do I talk about my own body in front of my child?
Awareness is the first step toward change. The more you recognize how diet culture has impacted you, the better you can break the cycle for your child.
2. Create a Home Free from Diet Talk and Body Criticism
Your child is already navigating a world full of unrealistic beauty standards—your home can be a safe haven where all bodies are respected and food is free from moral judgment.
Commit to eliminating diet talk.
No more discussions about “good” or “bad” foods, weight loss, or needing to “burn off” meals.
Avoid body-focused comments—about yourself or others.
Even seemingly harmless remarks like “I feel so fat today” or “I wish I had a body like hers” can reinforce harmful beliefs.
Practice body neutrality.
Instead of focusing on appearance, shift the conversation to how bodies function, feel, and support us.
Instead of: “I need to lose weight.”
Try: “I’m working on treating my body with kindness.”
Modeling self-compassion will help your child learn to do the same.
3. Work on Your Own Relationship with Food
If you’ve spent years dieting or feeling out of control around food, you might feel disconnected from your own hunger, fullness, and satisfaction cues—just like your child. Exploring Intuitive Eating can help you rebuild trust in your body while supporting your child’s healing.
Start by practicing these key principles of Intuitive Eating:
- Reject diet mentality: Challenge the belief that weight loss equals health or worthiness.
- Make peace with food: Allow yourself (and your child) to enjoy all foods without guilt.
- Honor your hunger and fullness: Learn to trust your body’s signals rather than external diet rules.
- Find satisfaction in eating: Instead of focusing on what you “should” eat, explore what truly feels good.
If Intuitive Eating feels foreign or overwhelming, that’s okay. This is a process, not a destination. Consider reading Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch (they also have workbooks for adults and young adults) or working with a Health at Every Size (HAES)®-aligned nutrition provider for support.
4. Heal Alongside Your Child—Without Making It About You
It’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to feel triggered by your child’s recovery. But remember: your child’s healing journey is theirs. While it’s powerful to grow together, be mindful not to shift the focus onto your own struggles in a way that might burden them.
Share your growth in a way that supports them.
“I’ve been working on listening to my body more, too. It’s a challenge, but I’m learning.”
Allow them to have their own experience.
If they express frustration with food, resist saying, “I know exactly how you feel.” Instead, validate: “That sounds really hard. I’m here to listen.”
Seek your own support.
If food and body image challenges feel overwhelming, consider therapy, a support group, or journaling as a space for your own healing.
Your struggles are real, and they deserve care—and your child needs you to be their safe space, not their recovery partner.
5. Set Boundaries with Family, Friends, and Social Media
Even if your home is a diet-free, body-positive space, external influences can still impact both you and your child.
With family and friends:
Set boundaries around body and food talk. If a relative makes weight-related comments, you can say:
“We’re focusing on a healthy relationship with food and body in our home, so we don’t talk about weight.”
With social media:
- Curate a feed that supports healing by following body-neutral, Intuitive Eating, and HAES®-aligned accounts.
- Encourage your child (and yourself) to unfollow accounts that promote dieting, weight loss, or unrealistic body ideals.
Protecting your mental space is just as important as protecting theirs.
6. Remember: Healing Is Not Linear—for You or Your Child
There will be setbacks, hard days, and moments of doubt—for both of you. That’s normal. Healing from diet culture and disordered eating is a long, non-linear process. Give yourself and your child grace.
- If you slip into old habits, forgive yourself and keep moving forward.
- If your child struggles, remind them that progress isn’t about perfection.
- Celebrate the small victories—for both of you.
Every time you choose compassion over criticism, you are breaking the cycle for the next generation.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Healing, Too
Your child’s recovery matters—but so does yours. By working on your own relationship with food and your body, you are not only supporting them, but also freeing yourself from the grip of diet culture.
Healing together doesn’t mean being perfect. It means showing up with love, patience, and the willingness to unlearn harmful beliefs—one step at a time.
You and your child are both worthy of peace, nourishment, and self-compassion—at any size.
Help is available with our eating disorder specialists. Reach out to schedule an appointment with us.
Resources for Parents on Intuitive Eating & Healing from Diet Culture
- Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch – www.intuitiveeating.org
- Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture by Virginia Sole-Smith – A book to help parents recon with their own body biases, identify diet-culture, and empower their children.
- More Than a Body by Lexie & Lindsay Kite – A body image resilience book for parents & teens
- National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA): nationaleatingdisorders.org
- F.E.A.S.T. (Family Support for Eating Disorders): feast-ed.org
💜 Healing is possible. For your child. And for you. 💜